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Feeling Low

I have had a low couple of days.  We're still waiting to hear what they want to do about Lia's diaphragm.  As of now, we're keeping her on the higher doses of meds because her respiratory rate has started to trend down.  If it keeps doing that over the next couple of days we won't have to do the surgery. 

Lia threw up twice today.  She now has an IV in her HEAD because they couldn't get it going anywhere else.  I'm feeling overwhelmed about this whole milk skimming thing.  Since the process is somewhat new to this hospital, lots of people are telling me different things and it's frustrating.  Our nurse today got on my nerves.  Big time.  I'm tired.  I've lived in a hospital for 29 days.  Which means, I haven't lived with my son in 29 days.  I'm trying hard to stay strong and positive, but today I just can't seem to snap out of it.  I hate this.  I want to go home.  I want to pick Lia up out of that bed, unhook all the cords, put clothes on her, put her in her carseat, and walk out of this place.  I'm really needing some extra prayer tonight. 

Some photos from today.

Caught the tail end of a smile here!  You can see her new IV...I hate it!
The next two pictures I took on my phone and had some fun editing them with Instagram.

Comments

Deb Wagler said…
So sorry for the latest downers! But there are some very positive things happening too! Try to stay strong, I know you are, just tired of this. Let our thoughts and prayers lift you up and give you rest and strength! There are so many people that are thinking of Lia and your family right now!!!
Hugs and prayers continue!
May 1, 2012 at 10:42 PM
Sarah Stufflebeam said…
Ashley, I don't even know how you're doing what you're doing but you are so strong...i admire you so much, as a new mom i know the struggle of having to be in the hospital longer than expected, but nowhere near what you all have gone through. Every day gets you closer to being home..our thoughts are always with you...once again if there's anything you need please please let us know
May 1, 2012 at 10:46 PM
Anonymous said…
Hi Ashley ....I wanted to jump right through your blog tonight and give you a hug. The hurry up to wait is so overwhelming and the desire to just go home is almost unbearable. I wish I could make all those feelings go away, because you deserve to have your family all together. The feelings that you have to endure are undescribable and it made me just want to loose it most days. Then I would look at our baby Ella and somehow down deep God helped me find that little extra strength to make it another day. I am praying everyday for your family, in hopes that you all can just be together at home again...soon. Thank u for sharing your beautiful baby Lia...her bright eyes and sweet smile make me have faith that you will be home soon. Love Baby Ella's Family
May 1, 2012 at 11:07 PM
Janet said…
What your feeling is perfectly normal and expected after the ordeal you are living. I hope you are letting people who can help you, help you. No matter how small the deed it will help take some of this weight off your shoulders. The goal is to think years from now this will all be just a bump in the road(huge bump I know). As for Jack, little ones are so adaptable he knows something is different but he will adjust. It's about quality not quantity when you get time with him. I too wish I could reach through my computer and hug you. So a cyber hug will have to do. 00000000 Janet
May 2, 2012 at 8:38 AM
Anonymous said…
Ashley-- you have every right to have a few down days! Don't feel bad about that! Pretty soon you'll be doing exactly as you wrote: Putting clothes on her, putting her in her car seat and driving her home! Lia's had a tough start, but she's got a lifetime of blessings up ahead! We can't wait to meet her, and give you all big hugs!
Love, The Loviks
May 2, 2012 at 9:14 AM
Cindy said…
Ashley, you don't know me but my husband is Ron Orris...ask your dad, he'll know! We are just a few of the many people out here that you don't even know that are praying for you and your sweet little girl. My prayers for Lia always include her parents and extended family...just wanted you to know we are lifting you up in prayer today and every day...Cindy
May 2, 2012 at 12:38 PM
Pam the Realtor said…
You will have days like this but just hang in there. She is doing so much better so try to focus on the positive. Prayers and hugs for you!
May 2, 2012 at 12:58 PM
Rocio Bozarth said…
Oh honey, I know all too well what you are going thru. I've been there. Every emotion you feel,,,,I have felt. How I wish you weren't going thru all of this. I will pray for God to give you some peace. If you need a listening ear, plz call. Love you!
May 2, 2012 at 9:00 PM
John & Michelle said…
Praying for you in Athens, AL! Better days are ahead I promise! Our Piper is 2 and I've just started praying with her before bed. We pray for her and then for Ivy's heart and Lia's heart! If she's really tired she says amen after hers I think hoping to shut me up! ((((BIG HUGS))))
May 2, 2012 at 9:10 PM
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